Today, my day started with the most powerful connection with a very special autistic boy. No amount of words can describe the feeling of joy and love that I had the pleasure to experience. That is why I invite you to read this blog from your heart more then your mind since it's where I am speaking from and only then you might have a chance to experience a piece of my joy, my life.
It all started when Mark sat on his favorite corner of the bed while engaging in one of his favorite solitary activities: flicking his straw and sitting in a lotus position on the far corner of the bed while humming under his breath. His humming was very soothing, rhythmical and predictable. Mark was taking care of himself by stimulating his auditory system in order to regulate his body. Following Mark’s cues, I decided to provide more intensity to his auditory system and incorporated drumming music into my session.
The moment that I turned on the Sacred Drums CD, Mark immediately looked up at me, then at the music and started rocking back and forth to the rhythm of music. I decided to rock to the music just like him except in a more exaggerated manner. I was standing up while rocking and walking to the rhythm of music. I was looking at Mark through the mirror and saw that he was smiling and looking up at me frequently. I then decided to put a large Lycra sheet over my head and continued to walk and rock in a circle. When I stopped in the middle of the room Mark's and my eyes locked. He proceeded to watch me and then got up slowly and with caution came over and peeked in under the Lycra sheet that I was holding over my head. He was coming in and out, sometimes just came close to smell the sheet or touch it with his straw and then went back to his corner on the bed. His exploration of the sheet and I continued for the next 10 minutes. As he was exploring I did not make a sound and did not change the position of my body. I wanted to give Mark the space to just explore on his own without placing any more demands on his sensory systems. He then began to laugh and started rocking intensely back and forth while looking up at me. I started to rock with the same pace as him with the sheet over my head. He got up and started moving my arms back and forth very fast and with a lot of intensity. I quickly realized that he was watching the shadow that was created by the sheet.
At that moment I fell in love with him deeper then I have ever experienced before. I was in awe and wonder of the joy he experienced while watching the movement of the shadow.
Ohhh, how often we miss the simple beauty in our lives!!! The only thoughts that were popping in to my mind were "What is wrong with this behavior? Why do so many of us consider this inappropriate?" I felt so much freedom, joy and love while truly embracing Mark the way he is. I didn’t have any agendas all I did is love him immensity. I was thinking this is what freedom means to me loving what is right in front of me without any judgments. Total freedom to decide to be happy independent of the outside events. How awesome!
After a few minutes Mark stopped rocking and sat back in his corner on the bed while fully immersing himself in his favorite, exclusive activity of flicking the straw with his fingers. For me this was a very clear communication that Mark was taking care of himself and wanted space. I immediately honored his communication however I decided not to engage in his exclusive activity but to continue to stand in silence on the same spot, without any movement with the blanket over my head. I was creating space for him to express himself and regulate his body without any requests or expectations. My only thoughts at the moment were - "Sweetheart take all the time you need, I will stand here and not move an inch until you show me that you are ready to play."
It was an incredibly powerful moment because I was realizing that what I was doing is making myself an extremely predictable human being. Wow, and then it dawned on me I was building trust with Mark on the most profound level imaginable. As I stood there thinking these thoughts Mark crawled closer, peeked in then got up came under the blanket with me and wrapped his whole body around me while gently kissing my lips and smelling my ears. He continued to embrace me then went back to his spot and again came toward me back and forth for the entire hour as I stood still in one position. This is living proof that love does bring upon an enormous transformation.
Mark is my teacher of LOVE